My latest book, HALLEY, awarded 2015 Jefferson Cup Honor for Historical Fiction. Available at: NewSouth Books:\u00a0www.newsouthbooks.com\/halley and Amazon<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t do vacation bible school anymore.\u00a0 Every protestant church in
\nthe South has VBS for one week every summer.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of like camp,
\nonly the kids sing hymns, do crafts, and play games, all having to do
\nwith Jesus.\u00a0 And the last day–or evening–parents are invited to see
\ntheir children on stage demonstrating what they have learned.\u00a0 They
\nget to see what teachers learned too, because the kids won\u2019t perform
\nif the teacher isn\u2019t on stage, suffering along with them.<\/p>\n
One year I allowed myself to be talked into teaching the kindergarten
\nclass.\u00a0 \u201cPiece of cake,\u201d the coordinator of bible school assured me.
\n\u201cHow much trouble can a handful of five-year-olds be?\u201d<\/p>\n
Plenty, it turns out.\u00a0 First of all, there were more than a handful.
\nTwenty, to be exact. Twenty squirmy, talkative, rough-housing,
\nrock-toting kids.\u00a0 Or at least one had a rock.\u00a0 \u201cJust for self
\ndefense,\u201d the little girl with golden curls assured me.\u00a0 \u201cJust until
\nI\u2019m old enough to have a gun.\u201d<\/p>\n
I talked her out of the rock and then announced that we would have our
\nbible lesson for the day.\u00a0 \u201cI druther wrestle,\u201d said a little boy
\nwearing about eight bandaids.\u00a0 He threw himself on top of the boy on
\nhis right, and the two of them went rolling across the floor. Several
\nother boys and Goldilocks joined the pile-up.<\/p>\n
\u201cBack to your circle right now!\u201d I ordered in my most authoritative
\nvoice.\u00a0 It worked.\u00a0 Our circle reformed, sort of.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll sing some
\nsongs,\u201d I said.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you all know \u2018Jesus Loves me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
If they didn\u2019t, they knew it by the time we\u2019d done eighteen rounds.
\nThen we colored pictures of Jesus giving the Sermon on the Mount,
\nJesus blessing the loaves and the fishes, and Jesus blessing little
\nchildren.\u00a0 Then it was time for crafts, where each child was given an
\noatmeal box, a juice bottle and ten drink straws and told to construct
\nNoah\u2019s Ark.\u00a0 At mid-morning snack I got to see how well the other
\nteachers were doing with their kids.\u00a0 They all had different
\ntechniques, but they all had achieved the same result–obedient,
\nmannerly angels quoting scripture.<\/p>\n
The second day was pretty much the same, and I felt pretty bad about
\nmyself–I\u2019d probably not instilled more than a thimbleful of scripture
\nin two days.\u00a0 All right, I thought, tomorrow, we are going to do an
\nactivity and bring scripture into it.\u00a0 Somehow.<\/p>\n
On Wednesday I arrived early, carrying all the cookie sheets I owned,
\nplus all my mother-in-law owned.\u00a0 Many of those pans were older than I
\nwas.\u00a0 I also took cookie dough, a rolling pin, cookie cutters, and
\ntubes of decorating icing in six colors for writing verses on cookies.<\/p>\n
Goldilocks zeroed in on the pans.\u00a0 Lifting sheet after sheet with two
\nfingers, she inspected them and wrinkled her nose.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll not eat any
\ncookies baked on these,\u201d she announced. \u201cThey\u2019re dirty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I assured her. \u201cThey are just old and discolored.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cDirty.\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cDirty,\u201d chorused the rest of the class.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d I said, don\u2019t eat them, \u201cbut we\u2019re going to make them.\u201d<\/p>\n
We did. We had flour and dough all over the classroom.\u00a0 Before we got
\nto the verses, The kids had used the icing to decorate themselves and
\ntheir clothing.\u00a0 Goldilocks wiped up one dribble of icing from the
\nfloor with one finger and licked it off.<\/p>\n
It took me two hours after the kids left to clean the room.<\/p>\n
Friday at the closing program, we sang eighteen rounds of \u201cJesus Loves
\nMe,\u201d and sat down to polite applause.<\/p>\n
Now when our church asks for volunteers for bible school, I\u2019m the
\nfirst to raise my hand. \u201cPut me down for brownies and Kool-Aid for
\nrefreshments,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My latest book, HALLEY, awarded 2015 Jefferson Cup Honor for Historical Fiction. Available at: NewSouth Books:\u00a0www.newsouthbooks.com\/halley and Amazon I don\u2019t do vacation bible school anymore.\u00a0 Every protestant church in the South has VBS for one week every summer.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort … Continue reading