{"id":639,"date":"2020-10-05T22:52:41","date_gmt":"2020-10-06T02:52:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/?p=639"},"modified":"2020-10-05T22:52:45","modified_gmt":"2020-10-06T02:52:45","slug":"all-over-but-the-whining","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/?p=639","title":{"rendered":"ALL OVER BUT THE WHINING"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Faye and her orthopedic boot<\/strong>. This boot is not made for walking.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My latest book, HALLEY,
Awarded 2015 Jefferson Cup Honor for Historical Fiction.
Awarded 2015 Moonbeam Silver Medal for Young Adult Fiction.
Awarded 2016 Frank Yerby Award.
Available at: NewSouth Books:\u00a0www.newsouthbooks.com\/halley<\/a>\u00a0and Amazon<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back in the Eighties I had hammertoe surgery, which I assumed would take care of all my foot problems forever.\u00a0 No, the doctor didn\u2019t actually promise that, but there are some things you just assume.\u00a0 So when my left little toe began to fold under the toe next door, I refused to acknowledge it until it felt like walking on a rock. Anyway, I told myself, someone who had put up with the misery of three inch heels and dangerously pointed toes back in the Sixties could live with a mere straying toe. I wasn\u2019t going to whine.\u00a0 I despised whiners. I could take this.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, no, apparently not.\u00a0 Since I can\u2019t even bear a tight belt now, why did I think I could bear walking on my own toe all day long, every day?\u00a0 So two months ago I went to the orthopedic surgeon.\u00a0 \u201cI can fix that toe,\u201d he said.\u00a0 Then he said, \u201cYou have a bunion on this same foot.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Really?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grabbed the toe and moved it. \u00a0 \u201cDoesn\u2019t that hurt?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I yelped, jerking my foot back.\u00a0 \u201cNot much.\u00a0 Not enough for surgery. Not now, anyway.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt soon will,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cWhy not take care of it at the same time?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSounds like a good idea to me,\u201d my husband said.\u00a0 I had made the mistake of having him accompany me. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I glared at them both. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSame recovery time,\u201d the doctor said.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess I will,\u201d I said.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doctor\u2019s assistant gave me pages of information about surgery and recovery and I vaguely recall the mention of a scooter for six weeks.\u00a0 But I\u2019m sure there was not a word about how difficult it would be to lift the wheels up and over the high thresholds of our century-old house.\u00a0 No hint of having to back the blamed thing up to make it around tight corners.\u00a0 No warning about slamming the \u201cgood foot\u201d into the bedpost and breaking the right little toe.\u00a0 And there definitely wasn\u2019t one word about having to do this at two-o\u2019clock AM when I was still half asleep and desperately trying to make it to the bathroom before my bladder exploded.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughtful wife that I am, I did not risk waking my husband by turning on the light and thereby actually being able to see the threshold, which I believe had risen an extra inch with nightfall.\u00a0 When I slammed into it, I discovered I didn\u2019t have a tight grip on the handlebars. And when I lifted the scooter up a foot and a half over the threshold and turned a sharp right to go into the bathroom, all hell broke loose.\u00a0 I went airborne and landed rear-end-first on the tile floor.\u00a0 Then my head crashed into my husband\u2019s desk.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To heck with thoughtfulness. I called, \u201cBenjamin!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lulled by the hum of his sleep apnea machine, my husband snored on. (Contrary to popular opinion, it is possible to snore while using these machines.\u00a0 In fact I think it increases the volume.)\u00a0 So, unaided, I pulled myself up by clutching the desk.\u00a0 I found the scooter and managed to roll to the commode. There I had to figure out how to transfer one-legged to the pot while at the same time pulling my gown up and my drawers down.\u00a0 It can be done, but forget dignity and grace.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turning on the light, I examined my injuries.\u00a0 There was no blood, but my right little toe was purple and throbbing.\u00a0 My tailbone was screaming.\u00a0 My head was pounding and sported a knot the size of a lemon. And the return trip was yet to come.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turning out the light was my first mistake.\u00a0 The bedroom was now dark as a dungeon.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see those slits of light around the slats of the bedroom window, so I took it slow.\u00a0 I bumped into what I knew had to be the chest of drawers, and wasn\u2019t that the bench at the foot of our bed?\u00a0 It didn\u2019t feel like our furniture. \u00a0 It didn\u2019t feel like our room.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t feel like any place I\u2019d ever been. I was too far from a light switch to verify anything. So I kept rolling\u2014past the foot of our bed, or was it the reading chair?\u00a0 I think I must have rolled into my closet and then right on into the Twilight Zone.\u00a0 In fact, wasn\u2019t that the familiar\u00a0Ta-da-da-da, Ta-da-da-da<\/em>\u00a0theme?\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time passed, and finally I ran into what I was almost sure was a table.\u00a0 I reached out and clutched the arm of a chair and fell off the scooter again.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly I saw a glow in the darkness.\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 It was the luminous hands of my bedside clock.\u00a0 I was sure of it.\u00a0 I was back in our solar system.\u00a0 Crawling to the bed, I managed to get in without falling again.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Benjamin rolled over and mumbled, \u201cYou need me to help you to the bathroom, honey?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I whined.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need to go.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doctor took me off the scooter after that and put me into a knee high orthopedic boot.\u00a0 My husband put a night light in our bedroom.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m back in our universe, and I\u2019m almost through whining!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

___________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Faye and her orthopedic boot. This boot is not made for walking. My latest book, HALLEY,Awarded 2015 Jefferson Cup Honor for Historical Fiction.Awarded 2015 Moonbeam Silver Medal for Young Adult Fiction.Awarded 2016 Frank Yerby Award.Available at: NewSouth Books:\u00a0www.newsouthbooks.com\/halley\u00a0and Amazon Back … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=639"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":652,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639\/revisions\/652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.fayegibbons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}